HEY. HEY YOU INTERNET. YOU STILL THERE?
… fair enough.
Soooooooo, I guess July and August and September and October happened. Whoops. It’s okay; I don’t think you missed much. I mean, you missed Curtains. And every last insane second of Gypsy. And the start of Into the Woods. And the first part of the Fall semester. And Disneyland. And more intriguing/surprising/alarming personal-life developments than a goddamn telenovela. But don’t you worry your pretty little head, Internet! I’m going to make it up to you. To compensate for not posting about what arguably turned out to be the four most interesting months I’ve ever had in my life, I’m going to post daily about a month that almost always turns out to be particularly mundane, because it’s time for…
Yes, it’s year six of everybody’s favorite game, “Heather Annoys the Ever-Loving Shit Out of Everyone by Writing a Whole Lot About Absolutely Nothing for No Discernable Reason Every Single Day Dear God Help Us Please What Have We Done to Deserve This Kill Us Now.” (On a related note, I may not have the strongest grasp of the definition of the word “game.” Or “favorite.” Or “everybody’s.”)
I’ve got this shiny laptop. I’ve got a schedule packed tighter than Roddy McDowall’s jockstrap. I’ve got a cold. I’ve got a sunburnt chest and a purse full of sand. I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts, deedley-dee-dee. So stay tuned, kids, and watch in a mixture of horror and fascination as I inevitably choke to death on my own word-vomit!