ALL CAPS. ALL THE TIME.

I AM TOO BUSY EATING THAI FOOD IN THIS RESTAURANT WITH MY BITCHY FRIENDS TO EVEN DEAL WITH YOU TODAY, NABLOPOMO. QUIT CRAMPING MY STYLE. GODDAMN.

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2 thoughts on “ALL CAPS. ALL THE TIME.

  1. I awoke this morning with the sound of your caterwaul in my head, the vague remnants of some sort of ghastly acid flashback to the Summer of Heather. It made me realize that despite your soulless eyes, your club-footed dancing, your stop-a-clock face, and, most of all, your tenderness during our “love” scenes (why I never thought to put peanut shells down the back of your dress, I’ll never know), I miss the hell out of you but must have stuffed those feelings down deep inside where only the death of sleep can give them release. Now I know how Herbie felt in the months after he left Rose.

    I will be there opening night of Into the Woods, judging you fiercely and, as ever, ready to go on for you should you stumble or mysteriously become ill. Alas, you are indestructible (there will only be cockroaches and you after the nuclear holocaust), so lay off the negative talk! Please, leave the pleasure of calling you out for the talent-free hack you are to those of us who’ve been sentenced to act opposite you!

    With aching adoration,

    Walter

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