Wooo, NaBloPoMo! Wooo, year eight! Wooo, I really do not remember how to write long-form pieces (unless spurred on by an overwhelming sense of personal futility, as evinced by my last post. Jeez, chill out emo summer-Heather, amiright? LOL, j/k summer-Heather, your professional life really is doomed, continue your angst-ing apace).
Same drill as always. I’mma force myself to sit down and spew out a solid couple paragraphs’ worth of mildly entertaining nonsense every damn day, and each time I hit the “publish” button, I’ll think, “Well that’s pretty terrible. You sure can’t write as well as you used to last year/five years ago/in high school/at Buri Buri Elementary/in utero,” and then I’ll wonder if I wouldn’t have been better off just posting pithy Facebook status updates all month instead. And then I’ll do it all again next November. PERSONAL GROWTH!
If you’re interested in seeing my year-by-year decline firsthand, then you might enjoy the following links to these prime fossilized specimens of NaBloPoMos gone by:
And for those of you who have read this post with mounting frustration due to the fact that you don’t know what the hell a “NaBloPoMo” is, I direct you to this informative post on WordPress. (Spoiler alert for the “too long; didn’t read” crowd: It’s National Blog Posting Month. YOU’RE WELCOME, LAZYPANTS MCREADING-IS-HARD.)
Well, there you have it. Will I be able to maintain this blog while also attempting to write my very first cabaret show? Will I make every post deadline despite the fact that I’ll be disappearing to Disney World for nine whole days? Will anyone buy my old Buffy merchandise on eBay so that I can afford to put gas in my car beyond next week? Tune in for the answers to all these questions and more on “Literally Nobody Cares But Me, and My Mother, and Probably My Boyfriend”!