ALL I EVER DO ONLINE IS YELL.

I have this theory that my room at home sits right on top of some kind of temporal rift, because today, as ever, it appears to have been spirited all the way back to the very zenith of the ice age. Or perhaps there’s a tear in the fabric of reality itself, and I’m somehow on the frozen tundras of Hoth, in which case, where the hell is my tauntaun? Lemme get all up inside that thing.

I’m cold, is what I’m saying here.

Time to dip into the Facebook suggestion pool for a writing topic! This one comes from old high school chum Ryan, and he entreats me to discourse on striking up conversations with strangers. Oh, Ryan. You beautiful fool. I have only two different approaches when it comes to talking to strangers. The first is LOUDLY AND IN A MILD PANIC. The second is ABSOLUTELY NOT AT ALL. Both have their charms.

OH SNAP Y’ALL TICKETS JUST WENT ON SALE FOR MY VERY FIRST EVER ONE-WOMAN CABARET SHOW YOU BETTER GO BUY THEM RIGHT NOW A) BECAUSE I AM DELIGHTFUL B) BECAUSE SPACE IS HIGHLY LIMITED AND C) BECAUSE I’M BROKE AND WANT YOUR MONEY.

GET YOUR TICKETS NOWWWWWW!

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