His Vice President can be the territorial gorilla that literally yelled at us earlier today.

Expedition Everest was everything I hoped for and more. Is it possible to be in love with a roller coaster? Because I am in love with a roller coaster. I want to marry it, like that crazy woman who married the Eiffel Tower in a documentary I watched on YouTube long ago.

I wish the insane, enormous yeti animatronic still worked, though. Strobe lights are great and all, but nothing beats a 22-foot-tall robot-monster swiping at your terrified face with its massive paw. Use your Avatar-land budget to fix the yeti, Disney! Nobody likes Avatar. Nobody remembers Avatar. The Yeti forever! YETI FOR PRESIDENT 2016!

That’s all I’ve got. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have eight-hundred goddamn photos of animals ‘n crap to sort through and delete so I’ll have room to take pictures of Future Nonsense at EPCOT tomorrow.

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